Thinking ...hurts

I'm just going to speak.

One brother in the last stages of MS who keeps isolated and won't engage family. Hurts hurts hurts.

Another brother who almost died to get well, with his non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, after radiation and chemo couldn't keep the stubborn cancer down he went for stem-cell transplantation. He's sick. Hurts hurts hurts.


Sister Sweet I watched die each day from Cancer.
Her laugh, her smile, her love, gone.
Hurts.  Hurts.  Hurts.





Both parents dead. Cancer.
Hurts hurts hurts.

Look at me! I'm the most fortunate - one leg is dead from the knee down with p. neuropathy, the other is alive in pain with sciatica, need a full hip and knee replacement, it hurts hurts hurts and I don't have time for this, I'm 62.

So what did I do last night? Hurt someone's feelings. Am I insane? This is a long-time, sweet friend and I left my senses at the door. Let me make this soup even thicker: she's very disabled. For her? Hurts hurts hurts.

I need a pill.