"Self-Pity Needs To Vent"

I'd like to have a day of joy

without the debt to pay for it -

A motivation to go on,

without having to pray for it.

Still, I've had my laughing days,

and all of them realistic -

a favorite joy : at stars I'd gaze

each single glow magestic.

I've loved a many, loved them well,

they tried to lift my heart -

Like angels they would round me dwell

And still I'd feel apart,

The joy in life, I tried to find,

but only put on airs,

My father brought me peace of mind -

my mother taught me prayers.

Though some are born to melancholy,

quite at home with grief,

I always felt I'd fall away

just like a loosened leaf.

It's not a story sad to tell

for I made many glad,

whether music, art, or poetry

I gave the gifts I had.

But this is just a pity-poem,

it needs its venting, too -

and though my state of mind will change, 

I share it now with you !