Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Lies and Truth: Hidden and Obvious (c/o Kate)

Thought I'd follow Kate's lead (bobandkate) and spout a few beliefs about truth.  Or rather, Lying, as I think the topic was.  As I said, I think we tend to lie more by omission than by actual provarication in the face of having to make a decision one way or the other.  Under the banner of "best interests" and "too young to know that" or "don't want to hurt feelings", we manage to twist, color, turn and contort the truth until it fits the situation at hand, which may be perfectly valid.  I truly don't see how humans could survive in a communal way without the ability to flavor the truth - but is this lying?  That's pretty much an opinion, and in mine if something is untrue it must be false.  But there is, as always, that happy, forgiving middle ground, the ever-present gray area, the inexorable "fence" we straddle, most times with all good intentions and feelings.

Isn't it odd how sincerely we strive to say something insincere? I'm thinking of false compliments (which serve their purpose and make our sister feel she looks  just great in those jeans lol).  The favor we may've done her, or the disservice we may've inflicted, is all related to the persons involved and what they're accustomed to, I'd say.  It's all quite different from listening to someone you expect to be less than truthful (read politicians)  Lying is almost their job. 

I don't expect and certainly hope my true friends don't lie to me, at least in important matters where I ask for their input in a discussion, for instance.  But tell me I don't look my age and I'll be happy, even if I look older, and know it - and know they know it lol.  I don't have to be aware that they're not being honest - I see their intent as sincerely friendly, loyal and an attempt at bringing a good feeling to the table.  In the main, I can't see a thing "dishonest" about it.  Their "truth" is to accomplish something of merit, and they've done that.  Call it what you will, words are only our interpretations of them, not their definition, I believe.    

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I truly agree! :o)
Lisa

Anonymous said...

Cathy,
My first words were not again! Lying it is such an emotive subject and needs careful consideration before answering. How can you possibly lie with an omission?  A lie is making a deliberate false statement. So if you don’t make a deliberate false statement then how is that a lie? White lies on the other hand are untruths said without malice intent.  

The whole matter rests with the act of deliberately telling a false statement.  Doesn’t matter what way you look at it, it always comes back to the same thing. If you believe something is untrue by repeating that known false statement you lie.

Whilst if you state something which you think is true then that is not a lie. The essence is knowledge, falseness and being made. However, that has nothing to do with the truth or lies being non truths as we already know.  

I would not wish my friends to lie to me. An honest person always ensures he is surrounded by honest fellows knowing he can trust their words. It must be my age as I am fed up lying as I have in the past. The things I did as a child are the first things I want to leave behind. We are who we are, and after all that is said and done, our words will find us out. They always do

Anonymous said...

I always loved this quote, "Never say something, you could not sign your name to."  Or, one my mother used to share, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."  Why do we feel obligated to say something that may fluff a person up but is an untruth?  I would be concerned if a person needs that type of validation with the absence of truth, then they have an esteem issue.  

Anonymous said...

Well said Cathy - you explain it much better than I did.
Kate.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/bobandkate/AnAnalysisofLife/

Anonymous said...

Maybe it is sometimes good to "stretch" the truth, but even when I do it, I feel bad. : ) Hugs and GBU, Shelly

Anonymous said...

only when it is really needed i think it is good to stretch the truth a bit.  but we should not get carried away with it either
noelle

Anonymous said...

This is a very insightful entry.  
I try to go by the old saying ' if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all"  I am trying to  follow that piece of advice.  
I know people say that sometimes telling 'white lies'  is necessary.
Have a great day
Hugs
Angel

Anonymous said...

Now ain't that the truth.  LOL Very good entry.  Sorry I haven't been by.  I have NOT been getting all my alerts.  Thanks for stopping by. I'm going to reset alerts and see if I start getting them.  
Barb  

Anonymous said...

Damn, yhe Alerts are not working here either

Anonymous said...

Damn, yhe Alerts are not working here either