A Worm In The Heart

No power on earth should be able to shake the foundation of love nurtured over the years in a family:  loyalty, care and concern, honesty, help whatever the cost.  Yet I've discovered how easily that nurtured foundation crumbles like wet sand when reading how many others also suffer separation from their own families.  I notice this fact is stated with a very pessimistic view, as if not expecting any communion at all with lost or long-gone family.  I think, then, of my own siblings, then everything hurts.

Sometimes, when misunderstandings become hurts, which become silent resentments, a worm grows in the heart, a kind of slithering slow destructive force eating away at all that was once so loving.  When you allow a worm to crawl through your feelings for those you know you love, the fight back to truth becomes harder, takes longer.  These are my simple opinions, after enduring a few months of the effects of that worm.  Yet I refused to accept such pain as a permanent solution to our deep troubles.

Talking is a cure for hurt feelings.  At the very least it's a way to finally get out into the open what's bothering your loved ones, what's causing such animosity.  If we continue to "run away" and nurse our wounds alone, we gain nothing of use and lose everything of value.  So I invited my siblings to gather over a meal (that always helps) try a few jams of the music we all love, and I knew that gradually they would speak for themselves if for no other reason than because they were all in one place.  It started slow, it continues still.  IT'S A BEGINNING.

I need to thank all of you for sharing the alienations in your own families.  With that of course I offer true hope that everyone finds a way to co-exist without having to remain apart.  I cannot foresee a worthwhile future without my siblings, and they feel the same.  So now comes the hard work, now comes the truth, the long-hidden resentments, the lies, misunderstandings, lost time to be made up for.  No matter what this brings, I look forward to it, embrace it, for it can only help when the real truth is revealed.

Here's to truth, here's to love, here's to the healing family.