Moving Through My Grief As I Move Through My Life

Guess I've been away from these pages long enough.

I learned a great lesson when my father died so young at 67 such a perfect light in my world, snuffed out.  I didn't grieve properly, and paid for it a year later when something inside of me just broke into pieces.  You can't just cry if you have other things you need to feel, you have to get through them and feel them, then release them.  I feel I've grieved just enough now for my Uncle Jack, I've cried and stayed up all night thinking of him, and I can now release my grief into the universe.  Maybe someone else can use it now.

I've been in a state of anger, too.  Another emotion I had to learn to use properly, a survival tool we need.  Yes, we need to know how to use our anger, then let it flow right through us back out into the world - maybe some poor overworked single mom with kids hanging off her arms and legs, dinner burning, the other kid crawling out the door into the street and hubby's late coming home - maybe she needs to get angry for 10 minutes or so.  That's why I release my anger when I'm done, and say "Anybody need this?  Anybody want this, because I'm through with it now, don't need it, don't want it, don't like how I feel when I'm angry, have to give it back to the world."  And I do.  It's done.

Boy have I missed being here, talking to you - just as you are, I'd never assign judgment or want to change you in any way.  I know I'm talking and I knew you'd hear me, and look!  Here you are, you made it to my little place of peace and thoughts, ideas and theories, memories, dreams, all the minutia of a life.  Just one life.  You managed to get this far into reading what I've been feeling and I thank you for that, you know I always feel better when you're around!  I need you in my life.  So always return, you have the key.