Corpse Has No Trouble Cashing Check

 He lived on disability, and died in his home surrounded by friends.  Did I say friends?  Let me dig deeper:

His Social Security check was there on the table, and the buddies all looked at it. 

"Shouldn't we call someone?"

"Well...wait a second...that check, he can't use it anymore and...well I just bought that truck, you know the one?  Yeah that red one.  Wish I could make a nice, fat payment on it."

"....I could use a new coat...."

"I didn't pay that bitch's alimony yet, she'll have her headhunters after me, I need a few bucks just to stay outta jail, shoot!"

The friends decided this wouldn't be too hard, they forged his name and hauled their newly deceased friend into his wheelchair, then commenced to strap him in.  Nice and tight.  His head wobbled a bit, but they put duct tape on it, slammed it into the headrest.  After covering him in a blanket, they examined their work with a serious eye.

"I don't know....he looks..."

"Oh shut up, he looks even better." 

"Shouldn't we put shoes on him, instead of those ratty slippers?"

"Hey!  He looks just fine, it'll work I tell ya!  Now let's get to the bank before they close!"

Off to the bank.  Pushing their pal up to the window in his wheelchair, they explain he has "orange-itis" and his Doctor won't let him speak.  The teller sees that his usual SS check is signed but stares at the man for a hot second. 

"Oh he's just taking a nap now, he's okay."

and she redeems it, no questions, no problems.  The buddies make a great show of putting the cash into their friend's hip pocket.

"We'll make sure he gets home safely, thanks!"

As they turn the wheelchair, the duct tape gives out and his head starts to roll to the side.  They push a little faster, checking behind them every few seconds.  They're almost home.

Weeks later when caught, the buddies just couldn't see what crime they commited.  Their thinking was, "he had money, he didn't need it, we did" and what else mattered?  Money's money.

This true story happened a few months ago in a nice quiet American town. 

 

   

 

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