Friday, March 27, 2015
How in hell am I expected to "measure up" in an electronic isolation tank called the e-age, when I'm just an old hippie looking for someone to smile at? This is easy though, instantly spreading the minutia of my life out into the universe where once upon that time I used to play with stars and swim through nebulae. An unfaithful me deserted this blog to favor Facebook as I edged closer to following the procession of my friends, and though I've made more they're still "imaginary" with names and faces but no bodies.
I don't expect it to get worse, but it will - and I'll like it because most of those people are terrific, they really are. It's the ones I see all around, the faceless unknowns...
More than less, these electronic people are isolated in personal "tubes" as they sit on the bus with heads bent in hard concentration looking down at their cell phones, thumbing in the unseen codes which make up their lives. No one sees what they're doing, but it always looks important.
Cell phones? I had a hard time accepting pagers! Phones are now mini-computers you take everywhere. Once upon another time, the only computer alive took up a whole room. I don't think I like this, and I don't think I want to be forced to either, but I know I will because I need people and they need me. We're connected you see.
Standing wobbly on the sidewalk this morning, leaning on my cane and sipping diner coffee from my cardboard cup, I heard my name called and was startled to see someone from the past rise up like a bad dream in the middle of hell. This wasn't going to be good, I thought....
As he walked over to me, smiling like a shark, I decided to finally punch him in the face - with words. I would list all the times he angered me when I held it back, all the lies I knew he told, the thievery from my home I knew he performed, and mostly, the condescending words he'd showered on me for many a year. He inched closer and I got ready in my mind....
Funny how things never happen exactly as you plan them. No, maybe not so funny. I smiled and said hey long time no see how ya been how's your mom are you still with Dee find a job yet whaddaya think of this nutty weather and by the way it's great to see an old pal...hypocritical coward that I am, this mantra spilled down from my brain and fell out of my mouth. I hate myself.
I offered to buy him a coffee.
We chatted side by side at the diner's counter, pushing ketchup bottles and napkin holders out of our way and nursing our coffee. I noticed his face was cracked and greenish-gray like an old sea turtle who's been under water too long. He hadn't aged well - and he had the scent of his home on his clothes.
I turned my head to meet his eyes.
"So tell me, what's new in your life these days?" I wanted a better answer than "aw nothing". Without a second's hesitation, he said:
"Boy do I love my computer!" He took out a cell phone.
Time for me to leave...
Posted by Cathy at 12:58 PM