Thursday, June 21, 2007

Much-Needed Smiles

Penny had just received some very good news, when my brother Chris fell ill on Monday.  Damn it, not him!  Before letting myself become overwhelmed, I searched for some laughing lines, and found these.  They are ACTUAL PRODUCT LABELS:

 

1. On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE. (No purchase?  What aboutthe Fritos?)

12. On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

21. On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. (A car being exactly what?)

26. On Nytol sleep aid
WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. 

Laughing - might feel odd, but just might help.  Where there's life, there's hope.  With hope, comes joy and smiles.  And heck, these are funny!  Thanks everyone!

 

14 comments:

pharmolo said...

Absolutely true, Cathy. Hope all is well, or getting better.

stillh20z said...

I've been thinking about you.  Glad you were able to Get the Giggles.

xoxo

rockoned7 said...

Glad your smiling Cathy That's the way! I found these funny too

barbpinion said...

Thanks for these. They help a lot when one's day has not gone well.
Hugs, for sharing them, and simply for being YOU.
Barb- http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/letterstoheaven
        http://journals.aol.com/barbpinion/HEYLETSTALK

brainwhispers said...

No.7 he he he "keep quiet" :o)

Do Americans use the word "tossing" in the same context as us?
Cos that one (no.9) made me laugh out loud :o)

xx

ab45yui said...

I used to have nightmares about the mattress police coming to get my parents because they removed the "tag", LOL.  Too funny, loved them!  Thanks for the smiles!

tpiez4me said...

When life gives you lemons................laughter is the best medicine!  Lots of luck and prayers to your family.

aimer said...

I truly do believe that there is healing power in laughter. Bless you for continue to smile and may God's grace smile on you and your family members.--Sheria

aimer said...

PS they were all very funny but I can't stop giggling over the warning not to use the hairdryer while sleeping!--Sheria

valphish said...

The crazy thing about these is that someone had to first try some of these warnings!  ACK!!  Thanks so much for the laughs, my Cateri.  How is Chris?  Your family is in my prayers, hon... Love you so much...xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason

princesssaurora said...

Laughing does help... I know that it is the only thing keeping me sane somedays!  Please... let us know what Penny's good news was... and how Christopher is... I am sending prayers...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

fisherkristina said...

These are hilarious!

Krissy  http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

mutualaide said...

They are very funny!  

Hope and  prayers for good things to come your way.  

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