Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Slip Of All Times

Do let me tell you the story of when I first saw "The Silence of the Lambs." No one in our lab where I worked had an idea of what it was about, except maybe series killers, so we were all excited. It was a perfect Indian summer in 1992 I believe, and I had no idea that in 2 years my life would be flipped like a pancake by health issues. As needs must, a neurological ailment takes the life out of you.

On with the tale. A handsome colleague surprised me with an offer of a movie after our Saturday shift. In a lab where you set up blood work slides, examine specimens and prepare tests, there are no "weekends", because specimens can corrupt and I worked many a Saturday or Sunday when called for. Alex and I were through that Saturday around noon after 4 hours of monotonous blood counts, and set off in his incredible 1969 blue Mustang - which increased his appeal 10-fold. "Ah Woman, how shallow, how fickle..." Actually I enjoyed Alex and his chess stories. He was exceptionally good.

We drove to Maplewood, where I lived, to the tony part of town where a small comfy theater sat in the middle of the square. I noticed a line, which was unusual, and after we parked and walked closer, we saw there were two movies playing, "Sleeping With the Enemy" and "The Silence of the Lambs". Alex looked at me quizzically and I instantly crinkled my nose in distaste, to answer his implied "Do you want to see Julia Roberts?" I just couldn't warm up to the lady. Besides, there was gory guts in store and who could resist that, I ask you? We grabbed a spot in line and waited, chatting about how great it was listening to jazz while playing chess.

When we arrived at the window, I was ahead of Alex and had been talking with him a great deal - my mind wasn't focused on what I was doing exactly, and I didn't take in many movies. So when the ticketeer asked which movie, I said "Two for Sleeping with the Lambs please." Said it nice and loud. Enunciated very well. Couldn't mistake a word. "Sleeping with the Lambs." That's what I said. That's what everyone around us heard.

That's what Alex heard.

If a hole opened in the ground I would've jumped in. People were laughing and I was beet-red with embarrassment as I realized my faux pas. Worse, it made me look the fool in front of Alex - he of the pretty face and great vintage car. Strange folks were smiling at me and though I smiled back it was one of those moments where all you want is a handful of magic disappearing dust you can sprinkle on yourself.

"Oh silly me, look what I said, hahaha," was about all I could manage. Sleeping with the enemy, The Silence of the lambs - and I managed to scramble them both into a melange of idiocy called "Sleeping with the lambs." So I'm standing there waiting for our tickets when I hear a voice from the window:

"Well which movie did you want?" Her grin was more a bored smirk, to my mind.

"Oh yes, well - I'm sorry, yes okay, I want Silence of the Lambs - lambs, yes - two of them - silence, lambs. That's what I want - two, please. Lambs. Silence. Yes. That's it." I was sounding like a loony bird.

When we found our seats in the dark, Alex leaned over and whispered something about sheep farmers in New Zealand but I didn't really hear him, I was busy feeling stupid. The movie was very well-done, I thought, except a few things which would never have happened, like the FBI using a recruit to track a series killer. But it was Hollywood, so suspending belief I was able to enjoy each gripping moment and in fact, on this computer, Dr. Lecter himself welcomes me and let's me know I have mail.

"Hey you've got mail, goody goody" he says in that superbly horrifying voice.

But it's Alex's voice I'll always remember of that day, which became a bit softer at work and his mannerisms a bit more relaxed, because he thought I'd mis-spoke on purpose. He thought I had a fine sense of humor, was very witty. It was more a fine sense of stupidity, but I'll never tell.

24 comments:

ma24179 said...

That was a well told story, and funny. If I had a dime for everytime I said something like that, I would be very wealthy. I'm a bit different from you though, I don't get embarassed. I think things like that are hilarious! I'd be talking about it the rest of the night hehe. I know, dorky! Anyway, Silence of The Lambs was a good movie. I enjoyed it. -Missy

malagutigrrl said...

I use Hannibal Lector, too from time to time.  I switch my voices around every month but he's the only one I keep coming back to.  
:)

swmpgrly said...

lol

lanurseprn said...

HA HA HA  I'd have cracked up laughing!!
Pam

rockoned7 said...

It is one of these very precious moments in life when the hole in the ground is not large enough to take an impoverished ego. It reminded me of when I met my old friend and his wife and I introduced them to company we were having and he started saying to his wife. Phyllis “Hey pox face” etc.
I was embarrassed for her and asked him to calm down his retorts when he turned to me and said “you have introduced her to all in the company as Syphilis” So it hits home when we hear others do the same
Nice one Cath ED

luddie343 said...

ED I am Etertained Dramatically" by that :-)

sybilsybil45 said...

What a wonderful story !!  I can just see you standing there...I am sure something similar has happened to most folks at one time or another  Thanks for starting my day with a laugh   SYBIL xx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/sybilsybil45/villagelife

mutualaide said...

I wouldn't tell him either!  Great Story Cath!

jeadie05 said...

What a great story .thinking about it, a simple mistake made you look really witty .whoops lol ....love Jan xx

gazker said...

I am sure there's some dodgy under the counter film out there somewhere called Sleeping with the lambs.......... Yew!

Gaz ;-) x

hpycmpr155 said...

Hey I think we may have rented that movie last week.
I think it was in the Adults Only section.

    :-)

     sunny

bhbner2him said...

I have yet to have ever watched the movie.  But I adore your little slip!  Laugh.  Laugh often.  And best of all....laugh at yourself.  -  Barbara

preciousone25 said...

I love this "Sleeping with the Lambs" story... sorry, I'm just now catching up on your journal.  That was a really cute story!!!

Joann

gazker said...

AOHELL, is playing up as I read and commented on this the other day, and it's come up as a new entry.
Gaz x

luddie343 said...

ARGH don't worry Gaz, I'll get Dr. Lecter on the case.  Reaking havoc here too.

aimer said...

We have all engaged in a malapropism of this sort at some time or another. It was a cute and funny mistake and I'm sure that handsome mustang owner guy didn't think less of you for it. --Sheria

swmpgrly said...

I just got an alert for this entry for the 2nd time...lol

blazensun said...

Couldn't help but laugh at your entry. Sleeping with the Lambs is real funny. Loved the movie. Thanks for visiting one of my journals.

Sunny

ksquester said...

(smiling at your story)  I remember reading The Silence of the Lambs. I was alone and it was after midnight and I read a page and screamed out loud. My screaming scared me and I screamed again.   Thanks so much for stopping by my journal.  Anne   (Saturday's Child)   Anne

princesssaurora said...

LOL... sounds like something I would have done...

be well,
Dawn
http://journals.aol.com/princesssaurora/CarpeDiem/

wwfbison said...

I enjoyed reading about your faux pas - I am sure you wanted to enter the deepest hole around.  When I was young, (16) I waitressed for a very short time to earn extra money.  I greeted a lovely young man with "Hi my name is bean and the special today is Lisa".  I absolutely wanted to die.  If memory serves I left that job shortly thereafter.
Lisa

valphish said...

LOL  Ahhh, you ARE witty, my dear!  I didn't sleep for two nights after I saw Silence of the Enemies, er, yeah, LOL, anyway, superb movie!  You know, I did see Sleeping with the Enemy, too.  Not too bad, but not nearly as good as Silence of the Lambs.  Now that was delicious!  Hey, hope you are having a good holiday season, dear =)!
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason

attitudeslc said...

Thank you very much for sharing this!  It is just the laugh I needed! xox Rosemary

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