Monday, February 4, 2008

CAPTURE!!

The calendar has been screaming "WINTER" for months but the planet thinks otherwise.  Nonetheless, it's that time when cold weather makes little creatures seek warmth, and in this complex where I live, that means mice.  For some, you already know how wonderful my habitat is Why Would I Move? and if not, you can read about it.  This complex takes up a huge city block and is more secure than the bank account I wish I had.

I've seen the commercials for weeks now, trying to frighten me into buying those spring-traps in case, heaven forbid, a furry little long-tailed creature wants to sleep under my frig.  In the 8 years I've lived here, the only time I saw any other forms of life were when I moved in (an ant) and a few years ago (a mouse who saw me and immediately climbed back into the walls, ne'er to be seen again).  But I must be pragmatic so Saturday I called the maintenance people and asked about mouse-traps.  Within an hour, a duly-uniformed man appeared at my door pushing his cart full of any-and-everything necessary to live as a human being.  Like light-bulbs.

In very broken Spanish I told him what I needed, though he knew already, but I was trying to convey my concern about those spring-loaded torture devices.  I needn't have - he proudly displayed the very humane "sticky pads" used for some time now to safey catch a mousie then release it in the neighbor's yard.  I was delighted, and said I'd take five - cinco - he looked at me strangely but I assured him it was only my greed, not a hoard of mice, that made me ask for so many. 

It was Saturday and fast becoming night - I wanted to watch my cop shows, so after a hurried "muchas gratias" I stored three and unpeeled the safety-paper from two, which I then strategically placed in my kitchen where I thought the attack would come from.  Following instructions, I never touched the sticky side of the pad which, to me, looked harmless enough.  Feeling like a member of Greenpeace, I decided I'd done my part and after a shower, got comfy with the TV.  As usual, American's Most Wanted showed me faces which I imprinted on my memory - in this largest of New Jersey's cities, I'd already seen one "TV star" of that show only blocks from here.  During a commercial for football, I fell asleep.

It was around 3 a.m. when my mind started making logical pictures again, and I knew I was awake.  But very thirsty.  With my toasty knitted socks on, I padded into the kitchen with half-closed eyes, thinking about cool waterfalls.  After getting a tumbler full of water I padded back to the bed and started climbing in.  As I tucked my feet into the still-warm sheets, I cried out in a kind of weird "WHA...?" because there was a big sheet of cardboard stuck to my foot.  And I do mean STUCK.  Fast slipping out of bed I pulled my foot out of the sock then tried to tear that sock off the sticky stuff.  No way.  Wouldn't budge, wouldn't move, it was as planted as if nailed there.  As I struggled, my fingers kept getting stuck on the darn thing too.  Then as I changed position, my other foot hit the paper and WHAM I'm stuck again.  Letting go an old Italian oath, I pulled my other foot from the sock and stared down at these two lovely hand-knitted argyle socks stuck like two giant green aliens on a piece of sticky-something.  Now I'm getting mad.  At my idiocy.  And somehow, at that maintenance guy, the poor soul.  He should've told me these things could trap humans, too.  And their socks.

Nothing worked.  Not even my largest, sharpest knife could pry those socks away.  Now I'm thinking more logically:  Yeesh these are the special socks Mern knitted for me for Christmas, damn it.  ( Remember Mern of  Thelma and Louise  fame? )  I didn't want to lose these thick silly looking things, I really used them alot and expert knitter she be, Mern did make them just for me.   So I put the whole lot under the sink and ran hot water over them.  I have NO idea why.  It only made everything worse.  What to do, what to do .....

There is no ending to this tale, the sticky pad which caught my socks is sitting in the hallway under my old walker, where I (hopefully) can't trap anything else as dangerous as clothing.  It's now Monday afternoon, and I think I hear tiny laughter from the kitchen walls....... 

 

   

26 comments:

lanurseprn said...

I've used those things! They are sooooo sticky! LOL! Just to warn you...once we caught a mouse, and he chewed his leg off to get away. That was GROSS!
Pam

pharmolo said...

Sorry, Cathy, but that did make me laugh. It's almost along the lines of the Wax story (see my Seawall journal)...

luddie343 said...

Guido, I'm glad you laughed because if you could've seen me trying to free my captured socks ... hilarious w/o meaning to be lol!!  I'm going to visit your Seawall Journal now, gets more laughs - thankie!

sybilsybil45 said...

Grrrr AOL  do they not want me to make my comment this is my 3rd. attempt.  Mind you it has given me time to regain my composure..thanks you for such a "vision" my friend Mary thought some disater had befallen a friend as the silent tears fell !!!  then she realised they were tears of mirth...Your pair wee socks...Hope you find of a way of retreving them !! Love Sybil xx

wwfbison said...

Oh what a picture this paints...I have to say I was quite amused at your expense!  Thanks for sharing this fun story.  
Lisa

pamal3 said...

Oh dear! I haven't laughed so much in ages! lol. Thanks! Can picture the laughter from your walls myself. It's totally something I would've done aswell!!!. :-) Love Pam xx

rockoned7 said...

The best laugh I've had since everyone laughed at me, and me too, washing my passport in my trouser pocket!
Cathy, what kindness was in that idealistic mind of yours that would conjure up catch and release system for those “poor wee timorous beasties” you had lurking in your apartment! I can hear them all laughing this side of the world saying what a PLONKER!

Maybe you should have just invited them in and let them feel the warmth of your carpet instead of your heart. It would have done you no less harm and they would have had something to smile about instead of that roaring laughter you taught them!
Still your heart is in the right place and your socks are too. In the trash, I trust? LMAO at that my darling.
ED

kirkbyj05 said...

My stomach is sore from laughing !  You painted a wonderful picture Cathy.
I could see the same happening to me too.  
Never mind your socks...poor wee mice.  Just what would you have done if you HAD caught one?  I would have fed them by hand.  I couldn't bear to see them die.  
Seriously though....I hope you were able to rescue your socks eventually.  
I am still chuckling as I sign off.  
Thanks for the brilliant laugh.
Hugs
Jeanie xxxxx

shrbrisc said...

ROFLMAO I am only laughing with you , girl I have done the same thing, and have yet to catch a mouse with those things but My yorkie I have caught twice... I am relieved that tom keeps them away now and we don't have that problem any more .
hugs
Sherry

ma24179 said...

Too funny! I will tell you, you handled it well! I would have threw a fit. Everything close to me would have been flying across the room because at 3 in the morning, I cant stand to be bothered. When I am asleep, I don't want to be disturbed. I may have even fell back to sleep with the things stuck to my feet!-Missy

rdautumnsage said...

My sides are hurting from laughing so hard....Ah I know it wasn't funny losing the lovely green monsters, perhaps a new pair can be knitted as trade for the story of their demise. Only question I have is, if they are that potent and won't allow you to unstick the socks, how in the world are you suppose to release a mouse that gets it's fur stuck to these things? Makes you wonder if there is a humane way to ideally catch the critters. (Hugs) Indigo

carolhehe said...

Now you know what would happen to a little mouse if he wandered onto a sticky pad! They are stuck till they die there. That's really human! LOL
http://journals.aol.com/carolhehe/GypsyPaths

carolsixpac said...

LOL YOUR A HOOT! COMING FROM MISSYZSTUFF, SHE RECOMMENDED YOUR SITE-NICE TO MEET YA-CAROLINA IN WASHINGTON

xxroxymamaxx said...

LOL...thanks for giggles. : )

valphish said...

LOLOL  Oh, they caught a big ol' mouse!  LOL  Speaking of mice-catchers.  I have two great ones - my kitty cats.  I live in a house that is about 200 years old.  The basement is crumbling so we have mice occasionally coming up from the dungeon.  They don't last long.  My cats know when they crawl under the basement door into my apartment.  They can "sense" them.  They don't stand a chance.  They actually caught one this weekend.  I try to save the mice and get them outside.  It's impossible.  ~sigh~  They have caught four or five in the past three years.  I hope you can save your socks, my Cateri.  Love, Your Maire xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason

gdireneoe said...

LOLOL...oh gosh...gigglin' too loud, here in the library! ;)  C.

luddie343 said...

For those wondering how they get mice off these things, your comments got me to checking and seems their fleshy tiny feet are far easier to slowly, carefully peel off than WOOL <laughing at myself here> the hardest part of releasing the critters is getting them to stop wiggling!  As for my socks ....

ksquester said...

I feel your pain!  I got one stuck in my hair once..............................don't ask! Anne

gazker said...

And this is supposed to be humane? Thos poor lil meeces!
Gaz xx

adonnainparis said...

LOL, sorry the traps didn't catch any mice.
Donna

mutualaide said...

Oh, I hear them laughing all the way here in MA!  Your poor socks and your poor chilly feet and oh, the reprieve for those little tiny mice who would never, ever get off of that sticky pad to be released into the wilds of downtown Newark!

aimer said...

LOL! I'm sorry for your loss of the socks but this is brilliantly written; I can't stop laughing.--SHeria

malagutigrrl said...

The Mice don't come off of the glue either.  Take it from someone who's been there.  That leave a whole other avenue of consequences...

jmorancoyle said...

    Thank you for the laugh.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

sunnyside46 said...

that is the best story ever!
I am laughing so hard!
I'm sorry!
Marti

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