Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tape Measure Terrors

Note:  You may remember the incident where one of my brothers insisted I remove his name from my Journal, in fact the whole post which was about my dear parents, and I was surprised he even read my writings.  In the face of protest from some of you I did, and now my sister has made the same request.  She has that right, I just want to clarify so you don't get confused or think I am lol since I'll have her as "M" now.  I'll call her Jane, and her nickname will be Jurc.   This isn't her fault, she's just very private.  ( For she who knows:  We must make allowances, my Maire!! )   Now on to the story:   

   

"Cath, stop looking like that, it won't be so bad."

That was Jane of Thelma and Louise fame, my eldest sister, nicknamed Jurc.  She's okay, been in Canada for almost 40 years, back in Jersey 3 years now. Anyway.....

My voice was almost a whisper.  "Jurc, I really don't think..."

"That's right Loodie, if you had THOUGHT we wouldn't have to go THROUGH this now, so don't try THINKING anymore, it's too late."  Her voice is clear and to the point, with a kind of clip to it.  And very stubborn at times.  Like this. 

I couldn't even imagine doing what she'd suggested, couldn't, wouldn't, I'd already been there and did NOT like that, would NOT do it again willingly.  But she's so...well Jurc has a presence.

"Listen Loodie it has to be done.  How long has it been?  A few years now?  It's far past time."   She stared at me expectantly.

I lowered my guilty eyes.  "Well actually, Jurc, it's been since, well, I think maybe, MAYBE now, it was in high school."  I felt the blood rush to my face.

"WHAAAAA????  High school??  How old are you now, 58??  Okay now you have NO say in the matter, I'm taking you there and you're having it done, you can't argue, you have no grounds, this is out of your hands, get used to it Loods or you'll never forgive me for the  horrors I'll descend upon your life, you HEAR ME!???!!??  Panting...

"Jane, PLEEEEEEZE? Oh please, NOOO!" The witch! 

I was ready to prostate myself on the floor before her.  Ready to wash her hair for a month.  Ready to clip her toe-mails, call her more often, even clean my bedroom...but this???

"Don't give me that look, Cathy, I'm older, I know all the tricks."

I stopped making doggy-eyes.

"Jurco, I love you.  Don't you care about my mental well-being?  My happiness?  Security?"  I was starting to run out of excuses.  Now I was just sounding plain nuts.  "Jane I'm BEGGING you, SPARE this torture!!"

She eyed me suspiciously. 

"PLEEEASE DON'T MAKE ME DOOOO THIS!!!!!" I railed. 

"Forget it."  Nothing.  Wouldn't budge.

I tried one more avenue, not a very fair one, but I was desperate. 

"Say Jane?"

"Hmmmmm....?"

Taking a deep breath, I gulped and said, "You know, MOM remembered how much this would traumatize me, how I truly hated it, would run away rather than..."  She cut me off.

"Catherine Susan Dominica you will go  through with this, I will take you there, stand right next to you, and you will stop this babyish whining right now.  The matter is closed.  This is for your own...."

I knew it was coming.

....good."

I was lost.  It would happen no matter what.  When my Mother took me for this process it left a memory of shame and discomfort, and I never did it again, never believed I needed to.  But even if the world ended tomorrow, Jurc would make sure I was taken to the lingerie shop where the lady would take a long ugly yellow tape measure to my bare chest and measure me for a bra.  I'm doomed.  @ @

 

 

 

17 comments:

libragem007 said...

Hi Luddie,
stopping by to say Hello...and hope this dreadful issue turn out what your sister is hoping for..?

Take care,
Gem :-)

http://journals.aol.com/libragem007/collage/entries/2008/04/16/im-live-on-youtube/1826

pamal3 said...

Oh Cathy! I think all families must have a "mern"! lol. You will be fine. They have seen trillions of bare boobies! lol. I don't know why I'm laughung....I was getting dried off In my bedroom after my bath when the cat launched himself on the windowsill and opened the curtain wide for all the world to see! Think I will leave a bit earlier In the morning for work!! ;-) Love Pam xx

luddie343 said...

Pam but dont you hate how that woman just stares at you?!?  Gives me the creeps.  That's funny about the window - I'm sure anyone who saw was smiling all day lol!!  xoxo

shrbrisc said...

lmao girl I would love to see you before you have a pap test , you do have pap's right do I need to call  your sister I will you know ...
sending you hugs Sherry

ma24179 said...

LOL... modest are we? (((HUGS))) -Missy http://journals.aol.com/ma24179/MISSYZSTUFF

preciousone25 said...

I'm SOOOO with you!! Very modest, here.... My son was laughing yesterday, because I mentioned something with the words 'I was going to the bathroom' in the sentence and my voice lowered to a whisper, so that the neighbors wouldn't hear me.  He said, "So, you were going to the bathroom.... do you think the neighbors don't GO??"  LOL!!!

Joann

sybilsybil45 said...

LOL  good to start my day in suspense, and then in gales of laughter...I really thought you were about to be dragged to the dentist and I was going to sympathise with you !!!!  Have a great day ! Love Sybil x

ally123130585918 said...

LOL I loved this :o) ~ Ally x

mutualaide said...

Oh, I'm with you!  I hated the first measure and every one since.  Just something about a bare naked chest in a dressing room with a total stranger ....

But hey, once it's done, don't the ladies just feel so ... GOOD!!!???!!!

helmswondermom said...

Funny!  I think most of us women can relate to this!
Lori

wwfbison said...

Oh no...do you know what ~ I have never been fitted for a bra!  I may sound strange but I didn't even know this was done.  I have to agree, I wouldn't like it at all!!  
xx
Lisa

pharmolo said...

What can I say, save to note that it is part of recorded history that a large proportion of women wear bras that do not fit their bust.

valphish said...

Interesting.  I never was measured.  I measured myself.  I am so sorry, my Cateri.  You know, I HATE wearing bras.  HATE THEM!!  Oh, just don't wear one!  Love, Val xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason

rdautumnsage said...

As a woman with a considerably huge bust for a small frame, I loathe that part...yet unfortunately have had it done a few times to figure out my blooming nonstoppable chest...

Trust me if I could afford it, I would have breast reduction in a heartbeat. I always thought they were just something to get in the way of what I wanted to do. Being short I bake, I'm covered with whatever I'm baking across the chest since the counter comes to just about there...

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, it's best to get it over and done with. (Hugs) Indigo

aimer said...

LOL! At first, I was anxious as to what horror your sister was going to force you to undergo but then I found myself convulsed with laughter. I hope that you survived the experience!--Sheria

gehi6 said...

I was beginning to wonder.  Well, you certainly resisted this process a lot more than my youngest sister Linda who took to wearing her older sister's old bras under her shirt, to school, if we didn't stop her long before she had anything.  She couldn't wait.  And as luck would have it she did not get  her period until she was 15!  Luckily I was the oldest and tried to teach my young sisters to just love being in the public eye!  My kids, too!  Gerry

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