Sunday, May 14, 2006

Golden Days

So how do I talk to you now, Mother?  God has wrapped your soul into His sheltering love, and I am an orphan.  Dad left us so long ago I've only the smallest of recollections for one I always called my VERY BEST FRIEND.  How can that be?  Time, I suppose, yes it must be all this time gone by, Dad.  Almost 20 years since you left. Did you welcome Mother when she appeared?  Ah well ... how she could sing, remember?  All who heard Mother ring out such dulcet notes would always feel the need to tell her so, and some would find themselves in tears.  I was among them, do you remember Mother?  With my piano as your partner you made such music as would cause birds to be hush, the better hear your voice.  But it's over now, and forever.  So with 7 other siblings, I am parentless, an orphan.  Age means nothing when you find you're now accountable to no one.  Mother, did you ever know of the countless times I've shied toward you, in tears, looking for the validation only a Mother could give?  I was a child then.  When your body gave up it's worldy work, I felt as a child then, too.  And I fear I may always feel as a child when thinking of all those unanswered questions I'd one day intended to ask.  Then you became terribly ill and my chance disappeared, like so many stars blinking out their light in the dawn of day.  One night you became ill, in the morning you were gone.  So how do I talk to you now?  I called you Mother, but not always - once upon a carefree time I called you Mama, like all children do.  When was the last time, was I six, maybe fourteen?  The final time you call your mother Mama is a sweet and shady moment that isn't really noticed, but privately somehow should be marked down.  Rest, Mama, rest your soul and be happy now, for your have found release - you sing with choirs of angels, for the gentle Prince of Peace.  

11 comments:

debbted said...

Ah my dear Cathy~You're not an orphan since you'll always be the child of our loving Father! I hear that is feels that way when both parents are gone...This is a lovely tribute to your Mama (my son has always caled me that); I sure wish I could have heard her sing and hope I'll still get a chance one day to hear you play. I love piano music! Have a good enough day with your siblings! Love ya, Deb
Happy Mother's Day!!!! (from Dutch too)

sugarsweet056 said...

Lovely entry dear. Mama, my children all me Mama too!
Remember you are a child of God, so you have a Father who is always there for you!
God bless you on this holiday to praise Mothers or to reflect on them. Hope you have a nice day sweetie.
TY for your visit to my journal, hope you come often. I'm adding you to my alerts.
Blessings, SUGAR

xxroxymamaxx said...

What a wonderful beautiful entry!  ***Smiles***  Happy Mother's Day to the angel  mommas in heaven and all of J-land!  Hugs and GBU, Shelly

geminirising12 said...

Dear Cathy,
A very beautiful tribute - your words, as I always remember, are absolutely stunning.  I read your entries often and find that each time I read a new one, I am totally amazed at your talent for writing and putting your thoughts/feelings into words.  My mother has left this Earth Plain, too - and I miss her. I, too, am alone - and I only have one sibling who lives far away from me.  I miss my family and the good old days. But, like you put it - they are gone forever except that I will always have my wonderful memories.  I call upon them often.  Let me wish you a happy Mother's Day and may I use up a line or two to wish my mother a very Happy Mother's Day as she now resides in Heaven.
God bless ALL mothers - they are the backbone of our families and God created them just for all of us.
A creative tribute, Cathy - thank you for helping me to appreicate MY mother one more time.
Peace and Blessings,
Gemmy

angelrose2u said...

Hi Kathy, thanks for coming to my journal. This is a beautiful heart tugging entry to your mama. Bless you. Remember one day you will see her again and spend eternity dancing with the angels together :)

Hugs
angelrose

treesrgreen78 said...

I knew today would be especially difficult for you this the first Mother's Day since your Mom passed. You communicated with your Mom so beautifully, and we can always do that. You were able to tell express your thoughts and feelings and I know she heard them.  Your tribute to mothers is beautiful. Those of us, who have lost our Moms applaud u for this and understand completely. When one feels most vulnerable in life, or lost or just having trouble coping with the little things that life throws us something will show you that heaven and earth is so very close to one another.  For me I feel that My Mom always can reach me in some way.  I find it is usually when I am in a dilemma.  I have read many books on the after life and our loved one visiting us, they tend to like to shock us.  A light might come on unexpectedly, or a radio with one of your mom's favorite songs, or a bird just may always be around just when u think there is no one to care, for me that bird a robin always shows up.  Mom letting me know you are not alone, I am always here for you and just have faith and be strong and u will come right.  Our loved ones show us in many ways that they are here,you will know in your heart it is your Mom letting u know she is nearby,like a slight brush on your shoulder, a little whisper in ones ear, or a light coming on for no reason and many little things that you just know has come from above, will make you smile and say, "Yes, Mom, I know your here, thank you for coming".  Your talk with your Mom deeply touched me.  As always, you express yourself so eloquently and your journals & writings are a source of peace and comfort for me.  When i dont see my friend online, I just have to come here and share all your thoughts and feelings and know that i  can spen time with my dear friend, though far away is so very close in mind and heart.  Thank you for sharing your journals with me, they are a treasure.

bedazzzled1 said...

This could not have been a more moving tribute to your mother. I have read through it twice, and it touches me deeply.

I fear the time I will be an orphan. And you are correct when you say age means nothing...an orphan is an orphan, regardless of one's age. I am sorry you have found yourself in that position. I can tell you all sorts of things about your parents being in a better place and such...but that does not take away the pain of being unable to create new memories with your mother and father, does it? I am happy that you have fond memories to pull up and cloak yourself in, however. We all need those.

::hug::
Nikki

lurkynat said...

very touching Cathy!
natalie

luddie343 said...

Trees my dear friend, I value and thank you for your lovely sentiments, most especially how you describe those soft whispers which can't be readily explained but somehow we know is a visit from Mom.  Yours, mine, we both share something so rare.  I'm in fine company!  Cathy

cyndygee said...

What a beautiful entry.  Your wonderful mother must have been SO proud to have such an accomplished daughter.

My mother seems about half her former height, but she is still amongst us, struggling since she broke her hip about a year ago, but she still wears that familiar smile  . . .  for us.

I walked in her house yesterday and she got up with an even brighter smile.  She walked toward me, holding on to the counters in her kitchen as she made her way toward baby daughter who hasn't been well.  Sooooo many memories . . .  all the times she comforted me, all the precious advice, her wonderful laughter.  

"Hi Mama," I said for maybe the two millioneth time, and we hugged a little extra long . . .   after all, it was Mother's Day.  She's the kindest, most considerate, most intelligent person I've ever known.  What a joy to spend time with her!  I am so blessed.
        Cyn                                                                      

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