Sunday, May 14, 2006

A Thin Observation on Relationships

Here I sit thinking easy thoughts, nothing so diffuse as the end of days or the center of the Universe.  Remembering that it has no center, nor indeed no edge, I know to change gears and get hurriedly back to those easy things, thoughts that barely use a brain cell to form.  And here is one, so I observe:

On what grotesquely thin ground do we form lifelong relationships?  There's nothing thin about the ground of trust, nor respect, nor reverence for the talent one has to live.  But what of a head of hair?  Laugh, as well you may, but think you on this:  the phenomenon of a person's head of hair carries one of the truest weights in how we bond as humans.

Of all the inhumane punishments you can inflict on someone, shaving off their hair is the grossest of all.  Our hair is our living crown, we wear it proudly and guard it jealously.  For a woman, it is the top point of the pyramid of her womanhood; the only woman-part that can be shown.  The others must be kept hidden, but your hair belongs to the world.  Swept up, combed out, brushed and shining, it teases all who see it.  Hair will identify your sex long before anything else does.  It is the bedrock of middle-class upbringing.  Wash it, dry it, brush, shape and comb it, it's your secret power.  Lose your money, your friends, your health, but don't loose your hair.  When shaved or cut off, it will lay on the floor like so many thin umbilical cords which attach us to our society.  Our humanity.  Shorn, they lie in dead, drying heaps, no longer nourished by the body's juices.  The lighthouse of our inner selves, these arrogantly proud strands, suddenly no more than refuse to be swept up.  How helpless we look without our hair.  Helpless and humiliated.  And when we love someone, fully and truly, is there not a swift but sure shock to see them without their hair, so thoroughly stripped of the dignity of their gender?

Hair.  The glowing outer shield that shelters the tiny force within it.  We are all so ... vulnerable. 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Luddie,
This is an interesting entry - but, as I read it, I thought about the time I was totally without hair anywhere on my body - and especially the hair on my head was gone.  I was bald.  I know I should expect this with cancer - chemotherapy robs us of our hair and many other things the doctors don't tell us before our treatments.  It caused me to look back and wonder if anyone loved me when I had no hair.  Did they look at me funny and giggle behind my back as they passed by me?  Did I lose my friends during this time - only to get some of them back after I had hair on my head again?  I am glad I did not know that hair totally stripped me of my dignity as I had a hard enough journey as it was.  It would have devastated me - not that I did not have enough to deal with.  I have to disagree with you based on my above comments.  I see women all the time without hair because of cancer, and they are some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.  They glow - and I say a silent prayer for them that they will come through their cancer and be a survivor by the grace of God.  Having hair is a wonderful thing - and, as you said, it is "our living crown".  Just a reminder that there may be a time in a person's life when they have no choice.  Would you love them then?
Upset and sad,
Gem

Anonymous said...

very good! the thoughts of the musical "Hair" from the sixties also point to Hair as the center of our vanities! hugs!
natalie

Anonymous said...

Thanks Nat, glad you got the simple point - Cathy

Anonymous said...

Long before we had any idea how complex some of the Beatles' music was going to be  . ..   they were shaking their mop hairdos and singing about HOLDING OUR HAND!!!

We LOVED 'em, but the girls retaliated by growing their hair even LONGER.  LOL!
                                                                                                       Cyn