Old Time Laughs

HI! It's me, Froggy. This is a repost from Nov. 19, 2006. Remember my pal Jerry B? No? Well, he'd like me to laugh as often as possible. So courtesy of Jerry in 2006, these are real bumpers stickers, have a read and a chuckle:

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to MEEE!

Beer - not just for breakfast anymore.

And beauty is still in the eye of the beer-holder.

All men are idiots and I married the king.

The longer you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

As long as there are tests, there'll be prayer in public schools.

Hang up and drive!

God must love stupid people - look at them all!

I said "no" to drugs, they didn't listen.

Smile, it's the 2nd best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an I.Q. test, the results were negative. Whew!

Where there's a Will . . . . . . I want to be in it.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Always remember you're unique - just like everybody else.

I don't have a license to kill, only a learner's permit.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix: never drink and derive.

If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast and easy.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen - or something.

Jack Kervorkian for White House physician! (Ok now obviously this joke no longer applies, seems Junior is leaving the usual way - by vote of the people!)

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later. (This will only be funny to people who can laugh at themselves)

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Who were the testers for Preparations A through G?

Keep honking so I can re-load.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

and the worst, most rude of all:

Have a nice day!