This is not the image of a happy person. So what, I at least managed to find the elusive sleep after taking your good advice, Constant Reader. Then I took a pill.
I think I'm fairly fine now. No, I think I'm lying to myself.
How and why an image rises to the surface of memory is beyond my musings, but I know that some memories come back to us like the deep perfume of a good wine rising to greet the senses. Others arise like a swollen rotten corpse dropped into the lake whose blood gases cause it to float to the surface. This is the latter.
I wrote a letter and mailed it to the garbage. It was a nice letter because I love this person. I prayed to God by all names. They were strong prayers because I love God. I devoured books to try and collapse my eyes. It was useful reading because I love books. I did everything to think of this old and useless memory then let it go, back into the universe. Why now? I'm so busy in my little orbit I don't have time to nurse these culprits and no inclination either. So what's going on.
Maybe aging. Maybe nature in all its organic glory is having a jab at my brain. I always thought if you ignore something long enough it'll go away. Like your teeth. So for now I'm ignoring this thing with all my might, which is wrong, and coming here, Constant Reader, to deliver it all up to you.
Oddly, this involves a family member I truly like! Always have, and will. Love them in fact. They don't even know I'm sure, don't remember, it was SO long ago, and truly so unimportant. So how could it knock me over?
I haven't slept in about 50 hours (shhh-that's a secret) but I think if I could just find the nerve to stop being secretive (read silent) with a family member I love, and just tell them how they pained me long ago, maybe the magic soothing grace of sleep will return.
Do things like this happen to you? It feels so...
If you have an extra prayer, I'll gratefully accept.
Before you, dear faithful worker in the skies, we humans were blind. You gave us our first look at what some call the "eye of God'' an astonishing star nursery called the Cat's Eye Nebula and caught by your own giant eye. So many mysteries we've become familiar with thanks to your work of 20 years. You showed us immense almost impossible supergiant red stars like this one below. It is the star "Monocerotis" thought to be in its nova eruption. Look at the detail you brought us!