Saturday, March 28, 2009

Friday the 13th Is A Scam


Hey I just realized we had two Friday the 13ths this year so far, in both February and March. Made me think of a particular 13th I posted about, so have at this from April 2007:

Friday the 13th? Pshaw!

So this is the day we're supposed to be so a'feared of, eh? A "bad luck" day, is that it? HA! I laugh at such things! Hear that? HA!

So what if I woke up at 4 in the morning with a monster headache and in the dark swallowed vitamins instead? So what if I sat awake for hours waiting for my headache to cease before finally getting it right. A mere nothing.

So what if I made the world's most perfect cup of coffee then dropped it in the sink? HA! Coincidence, nothing more.

The water I spilled on my computer keyboard? A mere bag of shells, as The Great One once mis-spoke. And speaking of mis-speaking, big deal if I said "Corpus Crispy" instead of "Corpus Christi" when referring to a church in our area. I doubt my sister noticed over the very bad phone connection - another coincidence. I'm sure all that laughing was just because she was being tickled. The fact that she was at work means nothing, I tell you. Rich bankers tickle their employees all the time, don't they? Of course!

So WHAT if I deleted ALL my cookies, forgetting I need about a dozen. An accident, nothing more. HA!

Now, the piece of paper that flew into my face as I took my daily walk I can't really explain, especially how it just WOULD NOT GET OFF ME!! (Calm down Cath) N'ertheless? HA! Bad luck? I laugh in your face - hahaha. ha.....ha.

Is...is that a clump of my hair that just came off in my hand? Hmm. Interesting.

These glasses, they always worked so well - why can't I see the keyboard clearly? Odd ....

There's that friend with the SNEEZE for a Buddy Sound!! WHY did she PICK THAT ONE?!? I've been MEANING to have a word with her - I keep saying "God bless you" it drives me NUTS!! Okay, deep breath here ... it's only another day, nothing more. Bad luck, my Aunt Fanny.

Why do people say that? Does everyone have an Aunt Fanny? I feel nauseous ... ok, ok. This is crazy.

Who said that?

Did someone call me crazy? Oh no I just heard a mirror break, I know I did! Was it mine? Should I check the place out? Do I want to KNOW if I'm in for 7 years of....wait a minute, bad luck? HA! Again, I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE!

MY FACE! It feels like leather! What's happening to me, where's the moisturizer?!?

It's only 2:34 P.M., I better just lock the door and climb into bed. Wait. My bed. They say everyone has dustmites in their mattress ... I can always just sit in my favorite chair - yeah! That's it! Ok, now I can move my computer over to my easy chair. Why do they call it that anyway, there's nothing EASY about that chair! My favorite chair? I don't HAVE a favorite chair! What the heck?? I feel even more nauseous ...

Windows is beeping at me. Morse e-code. What do they know? It's a Microsoft conspiracy, I know it. They can probably see me on the other side of this screen. Yeah, that's it, that's how they do it. Should I wave? I better turn this off. WAIT! No, they'll know I turned it off, and hide behind my mirror - my mirror!! It broke, didn't it? Wait, I have another one. Ok, ok, deep breathing, easy does it Cath you'll be fine. Just another day, nothing to fear, all will be well .... I laugh in your face. ha...ha...ha.

I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR FOR LOVE OR MONEY!!!

9 comments:

Frequent Traveler said...

ha-ha-ha - that was cute - and I'm assuming totally made up, right ? no ? uh-oh :) !

It's always been an ordinary day for me !

Unknown said...

LOL...actually I think there is 3 Friday 13 th this year

Ana said...

Lol... I've really like it. I didn't know the expression "my aunt Fanny."
Funny!
:)

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure you are Italian, & you know 13 is a lucky number for us :-). This was adorable and I so hope, FAKE or should I say, fiction.
This morning I started reading the Sunday paper & was met with:

TWO CRASHES CLAIM LIVES OF TEEN DRIVERS.
Any date can suck.
~Mary

ADB said...

Maybe there will be more Friday 13th this year, Kathy lol

Gerry said...

I had to know why you were writing about Friday the 13th when it has passed, but I am glad you did because it made me laugh! Water on the computer? Tcch tch. I am always cautioning someone not to go near MY computer with even supposedly harmless water in hand. Listen I am the mother of a swiss typewriter that suddenly developed sticky keys and no damn kids would ever confess they ever went near it. I had to throw it away! They knew Mom's typewriter was supposed to be untouchable. I related to a lot of that other stuff, too. You are an entertaining writer my friend. I have read you serious, star struck, profound, and funny and you can handle them all.

Gerry said...

I just noticed that I wrote in my comment that I was the mother of a swiss typewriter, hope you can get a laugh out of that one, otherwise it is sad.

kelly said...

thanks for the chuckle.. just another day to me.. I guess it's all about how and what you play in to it..
Kelly~

Anonymous said...

Lauren's birthday is March 13th, which of course came on Friday. I was a little nervous but none of us died from the food at Red Lobster!
:D
xo
mj